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A Life Fulfilled Through Supreme Leadership? Yes, Please!
What is this absence of fear? When we decided to run for Supreme Leader of the world, it was as if the ceaseless background noise that accompanied every waking moment of my existence faded, then...
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HASBRO IS IN!
Well, at least he’s awake. The detox is going well, the hot yoga seems to help, although his version of it has a lot of gurgling and lying still and sweating. Shave Santa? Is that the dead person...
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DRUGS!!!!
Well, a bear got into the “pemmican” (see previous post “LADIES FIRST” to decipher wtf I’m talking about) and managed to destroy the Platform, good riddance I say, I’m not a fan of heights and its...
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winning
Well, its been a week since we took to the Capitol Theatre stage and Hasbro is just coming down now. From the mountain. I’m eating bagels and working on my novella, gearing up for the next campaign...
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STRESSED OVER THE U.S.? VOTE CROMOLI
Are you throwing up with anxiety about the possibility of a white guy in a blue tie running the scene down south? Does the possibility of four more years of hemming and hawing while pretending to get...
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Congrats, B Bam! A private message to the President.
Dear Mr. Recently Re-upped President Well done, Mr. President. Can I call you Barack? Well, I’m going to anyway. Barack, We were really impressed by your poise and excellent grooming, by your hand...
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CROMOLI RIDES AGAIN!
Sure, Justin is cute, but can he play the ukulele, melodica and glockenspiel, all whilst humming a Bowie tune and thinking positive thoughts towards bringing the world into a better, brighter, less...
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